Montage of life #1

Slice of October - events, emotions and essence

At first glance, I was scared. I don't know why but I felt a bit uneasy while looking at the vast expanse of  water. As far as I could see, there was only water. This was't exactly fear but a kind of unfamiliar-ness with what I saw in front of me. 

The boat ride, however, dispelled this awkwardness. The cool breeze, incessant bhajans on the ghat, and my quiet solitude blended really well. At one moment, the trinity of these factors reached its climax. All I did was close my eyes and whisper, 'I am, I am, I am', as Sylvia Plath would.

Diwali is perhaps the best time of the year. It stands for a lot of beautiful things for me. Everything feels so lively and vibrant. If falling in love were a festival, it would be Diwali. The festivities just make everyday existence a little easier. My earliest memories of Diwali are quite blurred now. I do remember things, but not in a very distinct manner. It is all clubbed together in my brain as bachpan ki diwali. I love these buildings adorned with lights. It makes my life feel like jeevan ka mela!

It is the sunflowers which make my heart swell with joy. This is crochet piece yet it radiates so much love and light. It is the kind of flower that the female protagonist of my imaginary novel would give to her lover. She would give it as a parting gift or maybe as a reminder that her love for him blooms like this sunflower. Well, that's upto our female lead.

Is he decent enough? Or maybe I should ask who exactly is decent? this entire discourse on what counts as good or bad is particularly disturbing to me. These binaries take a very weirdly interesting turn when it's about : a good girl or a bad girl. The usual definition of a good girl would be someone who conform to the traditions laid by the society. That, in my opinion, is a person who won't ask question and will adhere to rules and diktats of the society. Patriarchy functions because of these co-operative good girls who succumb to the unreasonable and irrational roles. I heard it somewhere and keeps barging in my head again and again - good girls don't make history. It takes boldness and the will to fight ,and question to create history. Being a difficult woman is never a negative trait. Growing up I realised that being the archetypal good girl is a veiled insult. Feminists are angry, they say. I would happily be an angry feminist instead of a meek easy to handle conformer of unreasonable rules and restrictions. So, that draws me back to the first question - is he decent enough? The answer, dear reader, lies deep behind our prejudices and bias. Are we the ones idolizing homogenisation of a race as diverse as humans or those who are up for appreciating nuance and individual struggles. The choice is really ours.

Asmita

Oct'25