Mai, Diary aur Anne

 When broodings take over your mind

Today happened to be my Hindi exam. One of the question asked us to write a diary entry about a memorable school day...after a long time I was compelled to churn my head about what was my school life like. And I narrated a real incident despite the fact that it's better to keep yourself anonymous but still I got so much carried away that in the last 15 minutes I was still writing this entry besides knowing my one question was left. DO YOU WISH TO KNOW WHAT I WROTE ? if yes keep reading. But I'll give a brief backdrop.
Tomorrow on 12th June it will be Anne frank's birth anniversary. The person because of whom I started writing diary. For more on this, read the blogs from my archive(acting important). I have written a lot about her. My childish blogs are full of information about her. I still remember that day when in 2017 I saw her book in the library. I was fascinated by the title which made me write my own diary. And today I have nearly all my life phases captured in these pages. There are days when I re read my diaries only to realise kitni pagal thi(hu) mai. It's really fascinating how obsessed I was at one time. Endless pages about nayika( my imaginary friend) I wrote a poem about her. I expressed my desire to meet her. So I have a lot personal literature which I'll keep forever. I can look back at these pages and laugh about all the things that bothered me which however stood nowhere in the greater timeline of my life but at one instance they were a guiding force.

                                  

Anne's diary is perhaps the best kept holocaust account describing their lives in hiding in great details. In 2020 when there was that first lockdown I re read her dairy only to place myself in a similar context. This is how I function. Ki ye bhi toh same hi situation hai . And surprisingly now the 2020 diary looks a historical document to me. It ended when I got my second covishield vaccine.( COVISHIELD).
While writing this draft I'm waiting for the metro. Now only this wait can compel me to open my notes app to write aimlessly without stopping.
Now the dairy entry I wrote today inn the exam had some of the hard hiting amd gut wrenching lines which the examiner won't even read. I wrote about my farewell speech. The moment I nearly cried on stage but I turned back and started speaking again. That was the best moment of my school life. To publically sob but speak again. Quite a filmy moment for me. And the amount bhawnayein I poured in ki ye Shan meri smriti patal par sadaiv darj rahega still makes me laugh. And the most dramatic ending of my answer was, ' baaki baad me'.... Jo bhi ho It was the most fun 30 minutes of my life.
Coming back to Anne Frank and why one writes a diary. We all have a self talk mechanism. We constantly talk about things with ourselves but at times(most of the times) u need to demistify your thoughts and pen them down. And in order to get rid of them tear them off. And in worse case burn them. Write, write and write until u complete your personal legend.
If I could bring a person back from history it would be her. If she would have lived she would have been a great writer. Sensitive soul was never her weakness it was her biggest strength. And the ability to be able to get deeply affected helped her nurture herself as a writer.
So, grab your pen and write anything that comes in your mind whether pleasant or unpleasant. Acha lagega. My only advise to my best friend everytime she asks me for a solution is write about it. Quite stupid it is. But that's how I think. I write then only I can make sense in this chaotic world.

Asmita
June'24

link to my old blogs:

1. 2022: https://memoriesbymita.blogspot.com/2022/06/yours-anne.html

2. 2020: https://memoriesbymita.blogspot.com/2021/04/being-frank.html

3. 2023 : https://memoriesbymita.blogspot.com/2023/03/upanyas-ki-nayika.html